Dear Saints and Aints.

Shalom.

The video God of Wonders ends; the monitor blanks out … but before my eyes still swirl billions of stars in billion galaxies where suns 1500 times the size of ours –make ours look but like a pin prick of light in this vast array of blazing objects. The size of the cosmos is overwhelming. I wonder what psalms of praise King David would have produced had he been able to look through the Hubble Telescope?

I feel like the little boy who camped with his brothers in the yard. He came in later that night. When his mother asked him if he was afraid, he replied. “No, I just didn’t know how small I am.”

I can’t think in terms of trillions whether it be numbers, distance, mass, temperatures, or other measurements. I can’t comprehend light years, quasars and black holes. I can’t grasp concepts like eternity, infinity and a universe that seems to be contained in nothing but has to be contained in something.

The building blocks of that universe - Atoms are for me in the same league as galaxies – beyond my comprehension. Sure I could give a definition – after looking it up in an encyclopedia - but that doesn’t mean I understand it. As for DNA - That the amount of information contained in a pinhead volume of DNA would fill a stack of books five hundred times higher from here to the moon - blows me away.

Also beyond my comprehension is that men and women of science like Stephen Hawkins who observe and in some way understand these phenomenon still deny the existences of God - the Creator. These are the same people who would have picked blackberries around the burning bush rather than worshipped - in spite of the evidence of their eyes.

As for me, to be honest, God as the Creator, overwhelms me, frightens me. And so I retreat from the Incomprehensible and take refuge in the dimly Comprehensible – God as Father – my Father.

My morning devotions are actually just a quality time with my Heavenly Father. He encourages me, instructs me, chides me for my lack of faith and mocks me for grumbling about troubles that might and money or help that might not come next month … I have also felt his anger when his rebuke was like a physical slap “Don’t treat me this way!” But yes, I enjoy being with my Father.

I would not know what God as a father is like had I not seen glimpses of that in my own father. Though, far from being perfect, he nevertheless cared for me. In fact, I was his favorite – out of eight. I cannot speak for others who have negative experiences with their father or even for my siblings who experienced him in a more negative light but, as for me - my father was good to me.

In contrast I often accuse myself of not being a good “father”. I am often partial, unfair, irritable, and petty and have a multitude of other faults that prevent me from being a good “father”. In my defense I never wanted that kind of authority; or for that matter craved any kind of authority.

I was president of Prem Sewa Shikshan Sangh and I surrendered that title and the authority that goes with it to Yohan. I was director of Prem Sewa Shikshan Sangh and I surrendered that title and the authority that goes with it to Bapu.
I never wielded the ugly authority of “My way or the highway”; the power to get what I wanted because I controlled the cash flow.  I never exercised over any man, woman or child that kind of authority I had by virtue that they had a need and I the means to allay it.

My dream is to inspire people; I crave spiritual powers – a good and caring and loving heart; an inner beauty. For this I need no authority, no title. I never called myself a missionary nor as it is now called a Global Worker; nor do I place Rev. in front of my name – though I could. But to what avail? 

Robert Burns expresses my sentiments so well.

“It’s not in titles, not in rank.
It’s not in gold in London banks.
It’s the heart, that’s the part
that makes you right or wrong.”

Though I never considered myself a good father; I never let my personal welfare and convenience stand between me and my conviction – kids first! Bapu shares that conviction.

Our place reflects this. The kids are healthy and happy – a sign that they receive good care. The playground for the little kids, 55’ by 150’ (8250 sq. ft.) is actually a big sandbox which we want to enlarge to twice its present size this coming October. It is like a mini Disneyland. I exaggerate of course. The old car tire suspended from a bar by a nylon rope, the net on which they act out Spiderman and the ropes they can climb, plus a host of other things – inviting them to break their arms and legs - create a lot of joy. The noise is evidence of that.

But life is not just play … Now all kids are enrolled in schools, colleges and technical institutes; the special English classes and computer classes in our compound have started; the needed cycles, books, bags and school uniforms have been  provided and now that the 15th of August – Independence Day - is behind us, studies have started in earnest.

Outside the home are our pastors and Bible College students whom we support. The students who over the years have graduated from Trinity Bible College in Hyderabad are all doing exceptionally well. I am also proud of all these other young men and women who over the years attended various Bible Colleges and are now filling positions in various ministries across the country. Bapu and I are also helping other young people, who are not from this sheepfold to a college education or nurses training etc. All that the results of just caring for kids…

Now coming towards the end of this our tale my mind returns to its beginning –

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

In the same way that I cannot grasp its magnitude, I cannot grasp the immense wisdom and power employed in the act of creation and so I take refuge in one aspect of creation that I can understand – the immense joy it must have engendered. God speaking to Job, asked,

“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth … while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?” (Job 38 4a and 7).

We experienced that joy many times as we kept and keep transforming this place into something nearing a beautiful habitat. Though our kids are by no means stars, and, if luminaries, then certainly not above the category of “glow worms'', they oft expressed their joy not by song- but by happy laughter. Yes, though not in competition with the Almighty, we know the joy that “creating” beauty produces.

We offer you our thanx for your gifts and as our co-creators invite you to join in in our joy.

Please continue to pray for Bapu for strength, courage and wisdom as he looks after 1195 kids. If you want to see a real hero -- look no further…

Frank